Now I understand why MTV refused to send me a screener for “Bromance.”

The new “reality” series from Ryan Seacrest stars “Hills” layabout Brody Jenner as he searches for a new male buddy.  When I first heard of the series, I joked in this blog that Seacrest was using his TV shows (see “Momma’s Boys”) to work out his personal issues.

I was more right than I realized.

Let’s review: Some burly security guys kidnap the guys out of their hotel beds, put hoods on them and drive them to a secret location. Later, the men are forced to acquire potential dates for Jenner; much later, Jenner conducts the standard reality-show elimination ceremony - shirtless, in a hot tub, with all the other guys.

Geez, Seacrest really emptied his closet of fantasies for the premiere, didn’t he?

Who is the audience for this show? Heterosexuals will find it stupid and creepy; homosexuals will find it pointless.

And please, how is it that a “nationwide search” for nine guys came up with two - TWO! - from Massachusetts.

Man, I groaned when I saw that. I’m so sick of the Boston stereotypes that end up on these shows. Close your eyes and Luke from Medford sounds like Boston Rob. I’m surprised no one asked him to say, “I have to pahhhk Brody’s cahhhhh.”

Gary from Mattapoisett grew on me, if only because he looks like a young Krusty the Clown. One of the underdogs, he turned out to be a surprising contender. The token gay guy, Michael, seemed so morbidly depressed, I thought he might start quoting Sylvia Plath and stick his head in an oven.

And they’re all fighting for a chance…to be a useless fameball. They want Jenner’s life, which seems to consist of going to clubs and scoring with women. There’s no job there, no contribution to society, no way of making your family proud. Just being a leech and being famous for it.

We don’t need any more Brody Jenners. This is my break-up with “Bromance.” It isn’t me, it’s all you, MTV.

Eartha Kitt died Christmas Day at the age of 81 from colon cancer.

The multi-talented performer, perhaps best known to TV viewers for playing Catwoman on the ’60s camp classic “Batman,” overcame a horrible childhood to become a success when African-American performers were often marginalized.

The product of rape, the then-young Kitt was sent from South Carolina to Harlem, where she studied dance and music and began her career. Orson Welles deemed her one of the most exciting women in the world. Her music was sexy and playful at a time when few could get away with such sentiments.

“The Today Show’s” appreciation Friday morning cited her impromptu protest against the Vietnam War at a 1968 luncheon with Lady Bird Johnson but aired the clip in such a way that Kitt appeared crazy. She wasn’t. She paid dearly for speaking up that day, but found a new lease on fame in Europe, where she was embraced.

I was lucky enough to see Kitt perform her cabaret show here in Boston several years ago, and later got into an argument with a friend who said Eartha Kitt wasn’t a singer but a stylist. I objected then, but I’m not so sure my friend was wrong. Once Kitt sang a song, she owned it.

Many appreciations today cite “Santa Baby” as her best work, but check out “I’m Still Here” (which could have been written as an anthem to her life), “C’est Si Bon” and my personal favorite, “I Want to be Evil,” in which Kitt’s naif dreams of shedding her chaste image … by, for example, changing her seat at a theater “Just so I can step on everybody’s feet.”

Majel Barrett Roddenberry died Thursday from leukemia, according to the Associated Press.

Roddenberry, the wife of “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry, appeared in just about every incarnation of “Trek” over the decades. She played Nurse Christine Chapel in the original, Luxwana Troi in “Next Generation” and voiced the computer for just about every version, including J.J. Abrams’ big-screen reboot headed to the big screen next year.

She was one of the very few classic “Trek” stars to appear in the first pilot. She played “Number One,” the captain’s logical second-in-command. The network objected, saying audiences would never believe a woman could serve in such a high position, and she and her character were excised from the show. Producer Roddenberry transferred the character’s cerebral qualities to Leonard Nimoy’s Spock.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Ms. Roddenberry several years ago, and she was a delight, philosophical about her place and contributions to “Trek” and grateful to the fans for their support over the years.

As she ran down the many characters she played in the “Trek” universe, she mentioned Lt. M’Ress, the feline communications officer from the ’70s animated show (really, “Trek’s” lost child and damn good for its day and budget) and then purred in M’Ress’ distinctive voice.

And I lost it and started giggling.

Not my most professional moment, but it’s an interview I remember fondly. Majel Barrett Roddenberry was a class act. She will be missed.

After a long deliberation - about 40 seconds, which is about twice as long as I can hold any thought - I have decided to throw my hat in the ring for the New York senate seat being vacated by Hillary Clinton.

I know what you’re going to say: But, Mark, you’re so overqualified.

You got me there. I have been to New York at least three times in my life. (Funny and true story: The first hotel I stayed at, the ceiling collapsed on me. Little did I know that would become a pattern for my life. But I digress.)

And I have voted in my life.

Well, not every four years. C’mon, some presidential elections are so damn boring.

And I like to read, so I’m eminently qualified to voice an opinion - that is, if anything applicable from Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, like cloning or evil mutants or black holes - appears on the docket.

The way I see it, I have as much to offer as Fran Drescher. “The Nanny” star is the other woman who has decided to court the Senate seat.

On Larry King Live, she told the ancient one that she likes the Senate because it is more bipartisan than the other group (umm, I think that would be the House of Representatives, Fran.). She thinks she would get along nicely with the other senators. She would get a lot of work done.

I’m not sure on what exactly. Listening to her, I realized it was a good thing we don’t conduct competency tests for library cards.

Call me old-fashioned, but I really prefer political seats to be filled by people who, I don’t know, actually run for office - you know, men and women who plead their case to the public and try to win votes.

I understand that in this case NY voters have no say, but it is still baffling how both Drescher and Caroline Kennedy seem to treat the job like an audition for a junior high musical.

I like Kennedy a great deal, but I’ve seen nothing that justifies her being handed a Senate position.

So Gov. Paterson, I implore you, give the job to me. If appointed, I will serve in my best capacity from my palatial estate in Somerville.

And NY residents will still get a better deal.

There’s one more person who must be angry today about NBC’s deal with Jay Leno that hands him the 10 p.m. time slot every weeknight beginning in the fall:

Dick Wolf.

Think about it. There are five fewer time slots for scripted dramas now at the peacock net. Some of those shows are already dead: “My Own Worst Enemy” and “Lipstick Jungle” have been canceled. “ER” ends in May. That leaves NBC two 10 p.m. shows - “Law & Order” and “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.”

The obvious thought is, NBC can just roll them back to 9 p.m. Ehh, not so fast. First, both shows - especially SVU - are known for their adult (sometimes too adult) stories. Would the network ask that the shows be scaled back for the early hour? Would the shows even work if they were diluted?

Beyond the time slot issue, Wolf has a greater problem with NBC execs, who have made it clear that they want the network to be seen as a destination for great comedy. And since Lenny Briscoe’s one-liners stopped with his death, there’s been no reason to laugh during “Law & Order.”

Wolf may try to blow down the house, but NBC has moved on.

You can read more of my thoughts on winners and losers in the Leno shake-up here.

What was that?

Rosie O’Donnell’s live hour Thanksgiving Eve was meant to revive the variety genre. It may just have killed it forever.

“Rosie Live” found the ex-”View” co-host welcoming everyone from Liza Minnelli to Conan O’Brien to Ne-Yo. The musical numbers, for the most part, were good. The kid tap dancers were adorable; the teens not so much. The spinning act got old about 15 seconds in.

Whatever that show was, it was not family-friendly. Rosie opened with a cringe-worthy monologue in which she couldn’t shut up about her girdle. Then she practically drooled about her teenage son’s 6-pack abs. Ewwww. Alec Baldwin talked into her breasts. There seemed to be a gay joke around every corner.

How would you have liked to have been in the audience? They certainly got enough bribes to go home happy - Blackberries, GPS, White Castle burgers, Trivial Pursuit games and more. With Jane Krakowski singing the merchandise, it was product placement run amok.

Baldwin dropped off a stage door that was used to usher in celebrity guests. I kept hoping Elizabeth Hasselbeck or Barbara Walters would pop up on the other side, but that was probably asking too much.

NBC obviously wasn’t hoping for much by scheduling the show for Thanksgiving Eve. Unfortunately, Rosie didn’t do anything to disprove those expectations. This was a comeback she’ll want to forget.

MTV is reviving its bisexual dating show “A Shot at Love” - this time with twin bisexual sisters.

Rikki and Vikki will star in “A Double Shot at Love,” premiering Dec. 9 at 10 p.m. As with Tila Tequila’s two misbegotten seasons, the two will serve as the prizes for 12 men and 12 lesbians.

Oh, the joke in all this? The women like to be referred to as … The Ikki Twins.

They certainly are.

Ba-dumb-dumb.

And what is MTV’s creepy fascination with these slutty bisexual women? The network would never consider creating such a showcase for a bisexual man - because it knows viewers would either hurl their remotes or just hurl. These shows reinforce the idea somehow that bisexual women are just “pretend” or “temporary” lesbians and can still be won back by men.

Whatever. “A Shot at Love” needs to be euthanized.

ABC has canceled “Pushing Daisies,” “Dirty Sexy Money” and “Eli Stone.”

The three shows have finished shooting their 13-episode orders, according to reports, and the network will apparently allow them all to finish out their runs.

The ratings have been poor for all three shows, victims of the writers strike that never found their footing again with viewers when they returned in the fall.

“Dirty Sexy Money” had a great first season, but it quickly wore out its welcome in my home this fall. The show lost its spunk. “Pushing” has a cult following, but I was not among the devoted. The show was just a little too … precious for me. “Eli” came back with a great opener that managed to re-set its initial premise in a great way. And you can’t beat Sigourney Weaver guesting as God.

Oh, well. To all those fans who are mourning today, I offer my sympathies. This is what DVD sets were made for, my friends.

Warning! Slight spoilers about tonight’s “Shield” ahead!

Tonight is the penultimate episode (at 10 on FX). The series ends its magnificent run next week. I’ve seen both episodes, and they’re packed with the kind of tense plotting you have come to expect from this show.

An ever-more desperate Shane (Walton Goggins) decides to rob some gamblers for their cash. What he doesn’t realize is that they recognize him and have a score to settle as well. Wife Mara gets pulled into the bloodbath that follows.

“They’re coming off the rails,” Vic (Michael Chiklis) remarks later after he hears of the incident.

Vic is thisclose to getting he wants - a full immunity deal with the feds. But there are some huge obstacles in his way. For one, for the full immunity to stick, Vic must make a full confession of all his crimes - and boy, is that list long (topped by that Season One murder of a fellow cop). The feds will only make the offer to him - not to fellow strike team member Ronnie (David Rees Snell).

“I’m not handing you half a win - so I’m not taking half a deal,” Vic tells FBI agent Olivia Murrary (Laurie Holden).

But can he really pass up his Get Out of Jail Forever free card? What could possibly force his hand? Actually, quite a lot, as you’ll see. The episode is capped with a brilliant scene in an FBI conference room that ultimately leaves Olivia feeling as if she’s going to be sick.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me?” she asks.

“I’ve done worse,” he replies.

Brr. It’s great work by all. I’ll have lots to say about the finale next week.

It was a rough week at the networks. Fox canceled “madTV.” NBC canned both “My Own Worst Enemy” and “Lipstick Jungle.” All three shows will air their completed orders of episodes, as it stands right now.

I liked “Enemy,” although I wondered in my review if the producers couldn’t get a handle on the dual-personality gimmick, how the heck were viewers supposed to? Answer: They didn’t. “Enemy” posted dramatically lower numbers with each succeeding episode. “Jungle” never lived up to its hype.

Monday nights are looking horrible for NBC overall. I wouldn’t be surprised if both “Chuck” and “Heroes” are axed before long.

But the show in the most jeopardy right now is ABC’s “Pushing Daisies.” According to reports, the quirky cult show starring Lee Pace has wrapped production of its initial order of 13 episodes, and the network is not likely to order any more. 

If ABC is truly going to clean house, I wouldn’t mind if it took “Dirty Sexy Money” with it. I loved its first season, but the life seems to be have been sucked out of the show. It’s just not a fun show any more.